The Game Of Comparison: How-To Use It To Your Advantage

The past couple months I’ve been in a sunny seaside town on the pacific coast of Mexico. I’ve been resting, weirdly eating a lot of Italian food (…yeah I’m not sure either, all I know is that it’s really good here haha), improving my surfing & experiencing a lot of new things.

There have been moments of joy, moments of boredom, moments of peace and moments of questioning. Times where I’m present, others where I’m completely preoccupied with “what happens next”. Funny, isn’t it? To be in a foreign & beautiful place, somewhere you tend of think of as the ‘end destination’, the ‘place to be’ and still be consumed with “next”. With all the meditation, although it helps immensely, I still haven’t found the trick to this one. I think it’s a lifelong practice. Designed to be that way for a reason.

Since coming here I’ve gotten a lot of messages, as one does when they are somewhere seemingly desirable and away from the norm of home. These messages have gone a little something like this…

“You’re SO lucky”

“What I would do to be you”

“Ugh *crying emoji*”

Hello comparison. Nice to see you.

We all take turns, don’t we? Whose life looks better from the outside, who is on vacation, who has the least responsibility. We play the comparison game with the surface of someone else’s life and feel bad about not having a similar situation because, in the moment, it seems better and more compelling than our own.

So why do we compare? With friends and strangers whose internal timeline we know nothing about.

I believe it comes down to two things; 1) want, as well as a false sense of want and 2) feeling like you are not ‘on track’. Almost like a false sense of panic. Option and sensory overload, feeling as though something is missing from your life.

Next time you’re met with comparison, met with the feeling that your life is somehow less than that of another, ask yourself;

Is what I see really what I want?

Besides just a temporary escape, is it what I want? Be honest with yourself here. Does it align with what you’re working towards? Would it take you closer to your dream lifestyle? Does it represent how you want to feel? Sometimes we compare just for the sake of comparing. Sometimes it is because we are subconsciously chasing a feeling.

Comparing is also a talking point, I get it. Guilty of that. Over the holidays, for example, I was FaceTiming a friend saying that all I wanted was to be in a spot that felt like home with my dog, the snow & an abundance of Christmas cookies - which was not my current reality. We always want what we don’t have. We all have the tendency to mentally travel to a place that is not where we are. Again, here is that practice of presence.

For a second just, like, pause.

What is it, specifically, that you want from what you see? Do you want to vacation in Hawaii? Do you want to pick up, move & start a new life in Portugal? Do you want to feel healthy, glowing & lead an active lifestyle? Do you want a loving relationship, like the one you perceive in the picture?

The intentional observation that has the potential to arise from comparison can, in my opinion, be really beneficial.

Perspective.

Can you look at it from the perspective of what are you craving, as opposed to what you lack.

Use it as inspiration.

Once you clarify if the thing you see is really the thing you want either…

Create a plan of action that makes sense for YOUR life.

One that follows your OWN realistic timeline. Then commit to making it happen through action, as well as allowing it to happen through energetics & being open to receiving.

Feel gratitude for the person for showing you what you want more of in your life, then go about making it a reality for yourself.

OR

Lovingly choose to move on from the thought & feeling of comparison and reconnect to presence.

Reconnect to where you are in this moment. Reaffirm that you are on your own path, doing your own thing, exactly where you’re meant to be and being guided to your next move. Stay in your own lane. Feel happiness for those around you who are experiencing (what appears on the outside to be) their best life.

You know a fraction of someones life. Closed doors, people. We never really know the whole truth. Your paradise could be someone else’s prison.

Bottom line: choose inspiration, which creates inspired action or choose to be happy for them & move on. Find presence.

You are on your own life path, following your own purpose & priorities, baby.

Let’s practice being where we’re at. In the moment. Trusting. Not consumed with “next”. Doing this over & over again, until eventually, maybe, we get it.

As best you can, try to look at everything through the lens of inspiration. I truly believe that, as a collective, it is our individual responsibility to live lives that we are genuinely excited about. It could be the sunshine talking but I think it’s possible. And not only that, but a lot more ‘do-able’ than you think.

xox, jewels

that are your thoughts, love? What was your biggest takeaway? I want to hear. Put them in the comment section below.